Short jokes

- 'Rich' is relative... The richer you are, the more relatives you have.

- True that money can't buy happiness. But somehow, it feels better to cry in a Porche.

Young Billy came home from school with a bruised eye. Qhen his worried mother asked what happened, he replied that he'd had quarreled with his classmate. "That's not very good, Billy" said his shocked mom. "Tomorrow you will give him a chocolate and make up with him."

The next day Billy returned home with his other eye bruised. "Now what?!" His mother asked.

"He wants another chocolate..." Billy replied.

President Bush and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Rumsfeld sitting over there?"

The bartender says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor! What are you guys doing in here?" Bush says, "We're planning WW III."

And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big boobs."

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big boobs? Why kill a blonde with big tits?"

Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says, "See, I told you NO ONE cares about the 140 million Muslims"

Once upon a time there were 247 bears all named Fred. Now life as Fred was pretty hard because.. Fred was marring Fred, But Fred had just broke up with Fred, Fred and Fred were already Married. So one day Fred called all the Bears together and said, "Fred's we have a problem. We are getting into fights to often, I suggest we see a lawyer."

So, the Freds got togeather all the money they have gotten from innocent bystanders they had eaten over the years. And went to the local Lawyer. They explained the problem to the lawyer. He took thier payment. And said, the easilest way to sovle your problem is; Change your name."

Once upon a time there were 247 bears all named George. Now life as George was pretty hard because.. George was marring George, But George had just broke up with George, George and George were already married. So one day George called all the Bears together and they set of to the local lawyer. "It didn't work," George said, "We're now all George." And then they gobbled him up.

Morale of the story:

Life is rough then you get eaten by bears.